I miss some aspects of home generally, (weather/knowledge of general areas especially) but mostly I miss my friends. I miss being able to call Stephanie, or Eric, or Heather, or Sheila, or Hernan, or Celeste at any point in time and knowing that either a) yes, they can meet up with me, or b) they'll talk to me, even though they're busy/have other things going on. I don't know if it's just a northwest thing, or if Californians are just more dependable (my Californians, at least), but there's a palpable difference.

I've made lots of friends in Seattle, some that I am still close to, but most of those friendships have pretty much dissipated since I moved to Tacoma. In Tacoma, I really haven't met many more people than those Rick's introduced me to, or that I've worked with. Most I work with are well older. I love Rick so much, and he's insanely wonderful, but I miss the camaraderie, the ladies nights, and the general bonding with amazingly intelligent and thoughtful ladies I had in Seattle, (aka, Read and Die), and home. Bleh. I never knew how good I had it in college, where meeting people was as easy as walking to and from class, or going to a party full of engineers.

this past friday, we drove out to Eastern Washington to see Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. even though everyone else was hating the heat (105), i was loving it. it reminded me of legit summers back home. it started to cool down a bunch before the show though, which made it a more comfortable experience for all. our party was rick, his dad and myself. rick's brother + ladyfriend clare were there as well camping and were to join, but they got held back and ended up sitting on some other side of the ginormous Gorge. we were kinda far up, but could still make everyone out. they played such an amazing setlist, including "honeybee," which absolutely blew our minds. also, "running down a dream," "refugee," "listen to her heart," learning to fly," and of course, "mary jane's last dance." they then played a traveling wilbury's song that sounded great despite the facts that orbison and harrison are no longer with us. i had such a great time, and sang every song so loud. one more band i can cross of my "to see before i'm able to die happy" list.

that night we stayed at rick's mom's place, (sandi) who lives closeby to the Gorge. the next day we all went to the nearby farmer's market and i picked up corn, green beans, blackberries, peaches, and bell peppers. the peaches were so sweet, we all started eating them there. when we got back, rick's mom made us amazing vegan pancakes that were fluffy and topped with strawberries, and for me, peanut butter. then we headed out to the lake on her and her bf's boat. i can't remember the last time i've been out on the water in a boat, but it was probably back when my dad was around. we went tubing, which i'd never done before and was surprisingly good at. then we docked at this far out corner of the lake and started swimming/relaxing. i had to go to the bathroom so bad, and then got sandi and clare to join me on the journey, which didn't seem like one from the boat. we had to cross a mojave desert-like hellish place before getting to the bathrooms which didn't even have TOILET PAPER. the sand was darkish gray and seemingly not that bad upon first few steps. but i was wearing metallic-y gold/silver flats and they amplified the sun/sand tenfold, so sandi went back to the boat and switched them for some sandals. even though i grew up in southern CA, i've dropped so many habits from living there, and one of the first to go was flip-flops. apparently, you even need them here in the summer. we started walking and just in our bathing suits we were completely vulnerable to both the sun/sand. the sand kept kicking up at us and many times we contemplated going back. it probably took us 30-40 minutes but we got there, i found toilet paper from some nice strangers, then we took the shorter route through the water, carrying our shoes, back to the boat. i felt a million times better, and we just swam around, laid back, and enjoyed the sun. then when we left rick got to drive? i don't know what the correct term is, but he commandeered the boat and was awesome at it. it made me want to get a boat so bad, because at least one of us could work it.

we came back to sandi's place and she, clare and i made dinner - chickpea cutlets with corn, sauteed spinach and brown rice. so good. then we played monopoly, (mine and rick's newest game obsession) until we had to drive back that evening. it was a glorious weekend, minus rick's extreme shoulder sunburns, despite multiple layers of sunblock. i got some color, which was much needed.

other than all this excitement, it's mainly been job-searching for me. i've sent resumes to what seems like hundreds of places and have had about 2 handfuls of interviews. i am waiting to hear back from the Tacoma Art Museum, and will hopefully find out if i get a second interview by friday. had a phone interview today for a job in seattle with excellent pay/benefits. even though it's terrible being unemployed right now, i am remaining as positive as i can, and am thankful to be getting interviews, because i know so many people aren't right now. also, rick's been helping me out, and i'm so thankful that he has. he and i both know i'd do the same for him in a heartbeat.

tomorrow, we're heading to the white river amphitheatre (i've never been) to see radiohead. it's my first time seeing them, and they are definitely another band i can successfully cross off my list. i cannot contain my excitement, so i'm going to go listen to a bunch of radiohead albums while job-seeking some more. celeste is visiting this weekend, and it'll be the first time i'll have seen her since we visited la back in feb. she's bringing walker with her, and it shall be lovely reuniting in seattle again. also, aly brown's visiting next weekend, and i could not be more stoked! lord knows i've been missing my wife's love and hugs like nothing else. i predict epic late night parties in cal anderson, trips to the monk, and general laughfests ahoy. i can't wait.

thoughts:

1. i think too much/have waaaay too much inner dialogue to not be a writer
[ps; why does lj spell check have a problem with the word "dialogue?"

2. i'm guessing that by january of next year i will be residing in one of the following cities: a) san francisco or b) chicago. these are guesses, not guarantees. i may also still be in tacoma.

3. i never thought i'd add the words "film production assistant" to my resume, but i just did.

4. our bed is so awesomely huge now.

5. as rough and depressing as some aspects of my past may be, on days like today, i'm thankful for it and all of the people that have come in and out of it. meeting up with friends from high school/college makes me feel nostalgic and surprisingly accomplished.

when i decided to move to washington, i never knew i was also signing up for snow. a few times a year wasn't so bad, though, and i got used to it. hooray for novelties to native southern californians!

but i definitely didn't think i'd be experiencing SNOW IN APRIL.

why?! why can't my peacoat sleep? last saturday it was 70 degrees, and tomorrow it will be white all over. fuck global warning and the schizophrenic weather it breeds in the northwest. i wasn't built for these conditions.

in happier news,
i saw daniel johnston + pwrfl power at neumo's last night, and it was amazing. it was my first time seeing pwrfl, but his silly lyrics and talented guitarwork won us over. and daniel johnston was everything that i ever expected. he played speeding motorcycle, too! a truly historic and magical event.

blahblahblahupdatesblah


In case you're not wise to the fact already:

I will be home 2/19-2/26.

On the agenda, thus far

- The Album Leaf, 2/20
- San Diego with jewels + jeff
- Steamers night, [natch]
- at least one, but hopefully many, Amoeba trips
- infinite vegan restaurants
- LACMA, MOCA, Getty, ad nauseum
- finding the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers star on the Walk of Fame
- Santa Monica and its Pier [see what I did there?]
- sushi, somewhere, since they closed the amazing Kaiten! with its robotic sushi in the Santa Monica Promenade
- most likely Olvera Street, for reasons obvious enough
- praying that my car doesn't die
- tons of bad coffee

If you want in on any of the above and more, let me know.

( this is what inevitably happens when i have access to a mac computer with photo booth installed on it: )

happy 2008, all. my journal has slowly and quietly died, but i will still randomly post updates like this one when i deem it fit. i promise i still read all of yours. i really should update more now, as i've moved and many of you are not as near yet still are on lj. it's rough. i've gotten used to journal writing and that seems to fit me much more.

here's some update news for your time, though. remember how i felt that applying to grad school for this fall was a good idea, oh i don't know, two months ago? well, i don't believe it is anymore. i want to get in, and thus feel i need a stronger portfolio. so i'm going to take time off from applying until that happens. i just plan to work and write, and read. with a huge emphasis on writing. i've been reading a lot of eggers lately, and he's been stirring up good things the way he did my freshman year at lmu. i think it's better to be prepared than to kill myself working on apps only to be told "this reads like college work." i think my writing will only benefit from more life and living.

that's all for now. i hope you're all well. if i don't have it already, email me your address and i shall send you a postcard, letter, recipe, mix cd [unless i already owe you one] or story. i promise it'll be lovely.

i just want my motivation back. opportunities are passing me by at an alarming rate, and i'm letting it happen because of my innately insecure ways. the longer i wait to act, the harder it is to start again.

the weather really should go back to the way it was last week, [windy, sunny, bitingly cold]. no more of this cloudy, semi-rainy business. at least not this week.

tomorrow should be better, though, because there's going to be poetry and wine and good people around. lovely distractions.

my fingers hurt and skin on the tips of them are cracking from playing guitar last night and this morning. i go through cyclical periods with guitars - from genuinely wanting to write songs/learn songs/just play, to not wanting to play at all. i have a hard time acknowledging that i can actually play, or that what i write or play is worth listening to.

lucero on wednesday night was wonderful, even with the awful frat/dudebro guys taking over the area left of the stage. [where they came from, and why they'd want to be there are other topics entirely]. the crocodile was the perfect venue for them to play. they played a 2-hour set, including "kiss the bottle," "my best girl," and "the war." they kept spitting onstage, cursing, and drinking whiskey all night. i love cowboys, and i fucking love this band live. the only way the show could've been better is if jewels and bridget had been there, too.

tonight is josh ritter at the showbox, which i am nothing short of stoked for.
today is the zombie walk downtown, and it really makes wish that i wasn't at work right now. maybe we'll run into some remnant zombies on our way to the show tonight, and i'll feel like i cheated and got to go to both.

speaking of henry, friday night was the opening of the kim jones retrospective show. i had never heard of the artist prior to his coming here, but the show itself is spectacular. he's a performance artist who staked his claim in the 70's among other la/santa monica-dwelling artists such as allan kaprow and chris burden, [my performance art heroes]. kim jones has been hanging around work for the past two weeks, helping out with the installation of the show and doing interviews, as he resides in new york now. he's been one of the nicest, most down-to-earth artists i've met since working here, and everyone else who's worked here for a while echoed these sentiments to him. picture a short, small, white-haired, genteel man, and there you have him. he performed here in the south gallery friday night, but we just missed him. no matter, he was still hanging around while we got first glimpses of the show. it's the first time i've actually been excited to come to work and view the art in quite some time.

today, in addition to work and josh ritter...

- grocery shopping
- last load of laundry doing
- sending off of letters back home
- cleaning up my sty of a room
- more guitaring

last night i sang "always be my baby" by mariah carey at the greatest karaoke bar in all of tacoma, washington. i really wanted to sing "walkin' after midnight" by patsy cline, because jewels had texted me about her earlier in the night and i'd been singing her songs earlier in the week at his place. but alas, my request was lost in the deluge of requests we handed to the korean lady that owned the bar. next time. our group pretty much took over the place, with a few lone older men sitting at the bar, and the owner and her friends singing some amazing korean jams in between. i wanted to sing "gin & juice" real bad, but they didn't have it. the selection was rather paltry, but the facts that you could sing while seated, the mics had amazing reverb that echoed after one sang, the chairs surrounding large tables were comfortable desk chairs, and there was palm tree wallpaper adorning the place more than made up for the lack of superior songs. notable jams sung were "africa" by toto, "iris" by goo goo dolls, "rainy days and mondays" by the carpenters, and "dancing in the dark" by the boss. none of us had any idea how well we knew "africa;" it was quite the pleasant surprise.

tonight, he and i are driving down to portland to see m. ward. i cannot wait, due in part to the following reasons - 1) i have fresh eyes and ears for this performer now, 2) he'll be there, 3) i adore the crystal ballroom [show venue].

i love october and this weather. the leaves are changing to orange and red and are covering the city streets. i also love this october because it's been an amazing month for all things music. here's a rundown of these wonderful happenings...

1. new bruce springsteen album dropped this past week. it is epic.
2. new pj harvey album came out. also quite excellent.
3. new radiohead album to released online next week for a price that the buyer gets to determine. they're releasing it without a label [for now] and just announced that they were going to do this last week. fucking geniuses. read more about this here
4. m. ward, yo la tengo, lucero and josh ritter are all playing shows throughout the month.

good god. thinking about seeing yo la tengo again gives me goosebumps. excited? that's one way to put it.

the onset of rainstorms has marked the start of autumn in seattle, and i'm happy about this fact. i never thought i'd say that. i'll like it even more when i get a) rainboots and b) a sassy new black peacoat. my last one was permanently ruined after the great Dawn/Grin Post-GRE Celebration 2k6.

last night, he, his father, his brother, his brother's girlfriend and i went to eat at a new indian restaurant in tacoma. i had baigan bharta [an eggplanty dish] that was a bit too oily, but the ambiance made up for that fact. after, we went to see across the universe, and my prior suspicions [and all that i've read about it in online reviews] were confirmed - awful acting, unnecessary subplots, terrible script/unnecessarily overdramatic storylines, a general sense of being over-the-top just for the sake of being over-the-top, and most notably, the music throughout sounded awful. if a movie is being made with beatles songs as the basis upon which it's created, one would think that excellent music/production would be top priority. this wasn't the case. but alas, i am a sucker for anything beatles-oriented and wanted to see it regardless. i feel like now i can do a service to anyone who's contemplating seeing it.

last night at the restaurant, i realized i really miss my mom and sister. i texted my sister to acknowledge them of this fact. something about this time of year always triggers this in me, no matter where i am. i get nostalgic for my mom baking every week, dusting the kitchen counters with flour and chopped nuts. i miss my cat rolling around in front of the fire, begging to be pet. i miss lying on our couch with a book and hot chocolate. they're visiting next month, which is excellent, because i won't be home for the holidays. my first time not being there at this time of year, but i'm more than confident that it'll still be lovely spending them up here with my seattle family.

as much as i complain about work, school, missing aly/family/friends, and money, no days are ever truly bad. i've got my amazing apartment that feels like a home now, completely generous and thoughtful friends, a boy that tells me he loves me in a million different ways, plenty of books, scarves, lots of good coffee, vinyl records to spin, a functioning car, a plethora of rad vegan recipes to experiment with, and many methods in which to communicate to those that i love. life is so good right now.